How Sarah Got Her Wings (Spoilers)

There are Christmas movies involving ghosts and Christmas movies involving angels.  This is sort of a combination of the two concepts (though leaning more toward the Angel side).  Sarah (Lindsey Gort) stars as a realtor who, while helping retrieve some homeless guy's perfectly manicured Pomeranian, gets horrifically mashed by a city bus.  Sure, it’s a little dark for a Christmas movie but, on the bright side, Sarah goes to heaven . . . or sort of.  While at the Gates of Heaven (Hell is not discussed because that’s not very Christmassy) Sarah finds out she’s not on the list to enter the pearly gates.  Because of that she is going to be sent to Purgatory for . . . ohh, I don’t know . . . eternity?  I thought that purgatory was a temporary destination to cleanse people of their sins but, apparently not.  Purgatory is not as exciting as it sounds either, it’s more like a really, really dark waiting area with just one bench.  And to top it off, in the entire history of mankind, only 3 other people have been sent there.  Wow Sarah . . . that sucks for you.

Luckily, Sarah is offered the opportunity to earn her way into heaven by resolving something back on earth.  Unfortunately, she isn’t told exactly what she is supposed to accomplish, she has to figure that out herself.  So back to Earth Sarah goes (with Angel like powers even though she’s NOT officially and angel) where she ends up in the home of ex-boyfriend and 'Chris Pratt' look-alike Jordan (Derek Theler).  Upon seeing his dead girlfriend in his apartment Jordan reacts as expected, he refuses to help her get into heaven.   Still Sarah is persistent, even if she is a bit annoying, and Jordan relents.  Sarah comes to realize (through her social media comments because everything important these days is done on the internet) that she isn’t remembered for anything but her work (Hey, wasn’t she helping out at a homeless shelter when she was run-over while trying to recover a runaway dog??).

We also find out that Sarah dumped Jordan the year before on Christmas Eve (classy!!!) and even though he says everything is great we start to learn that it left him emotionally crushed and tormented.  Thankfully, he has a new girlfriend now and, although she has a kid, she is just as hot as Sarah!!!  Sarah decides her task is to help Jordan buy a new property to open up his dream bar.  Using her Angelic powers of summoning the dead she is able to tap into the owner’s memories of his deceased wife (I assume).  Thus the owner who originally had no intention of selling to Jordan because he reminded him of Zach Galifianakis (Solid reasoning because who doesn’t hate Zach Galifianakis) is not at all freaked out about Jordan relaying words from the man’s deceased wife.  In fact, he is so moved by this that he decides to retire and sell the property to Jordan.  Just in time too, as later in the movie it’s shown that the owner literally has a heart attack that night.  While it’s never confirmed that his recent death was, at least in part, caused by him being so creeped out by a strange guy coming into his place and start communing with his dead wife . . . I think it’s safe to assume this played a significant factor.

So Jordan gets his bar, life is good.  Now he forgets about his new girlfriend Amanda (Melanie Liburd) and her son by completely ditching them at Christmas Eve Mass despite promising little Mason (Amanda’s son) that he’d be there.  To compound things, he expresses his undying love for Sarah and kisses her.  At that point she returns to heaven to find out she failed her mission.  Luckily for her, heaven is forgiving (or at least the Angel at the front desk is) and she gets another chance.  She is sent to Earth once again to repair someone’s life.

In this iteration of Angel Sarah’s supernatural travels, she arrives at Jordan’s now fully operational bar.  Since only Jordan could see her in her previous appearance, she assumes he can see her now only to later find out that it is Amanda who can see her and who she’s been sent to help.  It turns out that a year has passed since her last trip and she quickly convinces Amanda that she’s an Angel thanks to her super angel powers over the weather.  She decides that her mission is to get Amanda and Jordan back together . . . because Amanda broke up with him after he stiffed her and Mason the previous Christmas.  In a bit of troubling news we come to learn that Amanda is about the most inattentive mother ever (her son is being bullied by another kid right in front of her but she’s too busy to notice because she’s on her phone) and that Jordan and Mason have been hanging out together in Arcades and Bowling Alleys for the past year after the couple had broken up.  Questionable choices aside, Jordan and Mason have a strong bond even though it seems like Jordan is pretty adamant that Mason puts in a good word for him with his mom.  So Jordan, are you actually trying to help Mason out of a general sense of kindness and goodwill or just because you are still hot for his mama?

Sarah’s plan seems to work with Jordan and Amanda going on a successful date until it takes a turn after Jordan explains that he ditched her because of issues with his dead ex-girlfriend - who Amanda suddenly realizes is Angel Sarah.  I’m not entirely sure of her angry reaction.  Maybe she was jealous of Sarah or maybe she's just a giant b*tch by nature but she calls the whole thing off and casts Jordan aside again.  With time running out and Amanda now totally embittered against her “guardian angel” because . . . yeah, well honestly I’m not sure why.  Amanda comes off as kind of an uptight b*tch during most of the movie so let’s just go with that as the primary reason.  Anyway . . . Heaven ticket counter Angel Daphne comes down to retrieve Sarah but Sarah convinces her for a short time extension (past Christmas Eve which is apparently some special deadline for any angelic mission occurring around Christmas.  Maybe heaven is closed on Christmas Day.).  She then shows Amanda the special power of angelic possession because that’s not disturbing at all right!?!?!

Using this newfound power to take over anyone’s body and using it as a vehicle, Sarah manages to get Jordan and Amanda back together when Amanda observes him spending Christmas Even helping out a bunch of bums in the back room of the church at the . . . church homeless shelter???  Hey, isn’t this the same Church/homeless shelter that Sarah got killed at?  I guess her and Amanda simply never met and Jordan just happened to date a chick at the same Church that Sarah went to and was memorialized at with a giant sign out front after her death.  But it all works out, Amanda admits that she has a TON of emotional baggage and that’s why she ran away (Soooo . . . you still wanna date this chick J?).  Amanda and Jordan reconcile and then Sarah says a rather emotional goodbye using the body of former ‘Night Court’ star Charles Robinson as a human proxy.

And if that weren’t enough . . . hold on folks.  Upon getting to heaven convinced she was now going straight to purgatory because she missed her deadline, Sarah finds out her name is now listed on the heaven entry list.   Sarah is happy but still sad because she wishes she could go back and live life again, fall in love (Dump more guys in Xmas Eve?) and just accomplish more.  Daphne then tells her, “Sure, why not?  You should have said something in the first place.”  Sarah goes back to the moment her body was probably obliterated by that oncoming bus but this time a handsome stranger pushes her and the pooch out of the way.  She then kisses him (Why thank you kind sir!!!) and it is suggested this is going to be her new love.  Of course, since she also went back in time we have no idea if Jordan still gets his dream bar and whether he and Amanda end up together (and Amanda finally coming to the realization she’s a mean, self-absorbed, emotionally detached beeatch so she can try and change) but . . . hey, Sarah’s good.  I mean, the movies is called “Sarah” gets her wings.  Not “Jordan and Amanda help Sarah get her Wings” so screw them.  Merry Christmas Sarah!!!

Because the story is at least unique (note that unique doesn’t necessarily mean good or logical) I’ll give it a 2.5 out of 5.