Christmas with a Prince (Spoilers)

Nothing feeds into the fantasy of romantic salvation than a rehash of the Cinderella storyline.  Movies that find common women marrying a prince is such an important subset for romance movies that it could probably have its own channel.  So it’s no surprise that these movies have regained new life in the Holiday movie genre.  Following in the footsteps of such classic holiday royalty films as 'A Christmas Prince', 'Crown for Christmas', 'A Prince for Christmas', 'Once Upon a Holiday', 'My Christmas Prince', 'Royal Christmas Ball', 'A Royal Winter', 'A Princess for Christmas', 'Royal Christmas', Law and Order Special Victims Unit (Okay, maybe not the last one) comes a new vision of royal romance with a unique title: 'Christmas with a Prince'.  Christmas with a Prince (not to be confused with A Christmas Prince, A Prince for Christmas or Prince’s Purple Rain) stars Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, in her biggest role yet, as . . . wait, my bad . . . the movie stars Kaitlyn Leeb as Dr. Tasha Miller and Nick Hounslow as Prince Alexander.  Our story begins with hunky Prince Alex falling down a ski slope in the states and badly injuring his leg.

Meanwhile in the Hall of Justice . . . . I mean . . . . in the Pediatric Wing of some secluded hospital Dr. Miller (heretofore called Tasha) is struggling to find funds for her pediatric care unit from the Evil Hospital Administrator Dr. Gonzales (Lanette Ware).  Tasha’s brother, who just HAPPENS to be a nurse in the same wing of the same hospital (nepotism???), lets Dr. Gonzales know that all is well because they are going to have a special royal patient arrive who is going to give the hospital a big donation to cover the expenses.  It just so happens that Tasha’s brother, Nurse Jeff (Josh Dean), is BFFs with Prince Alex.  He, Tasha and Alex all went to boarding school together (making nurse Jeff, BY FAR, the least successful and accomplished of the trio).  All the Prince needs is a little TLC and privacy and the hospital will soon be flush with donation money.

We quickly learn through Tasha’s discussion with . . . well . . . just about everyone she talks to . . . that she bears a grudge against the spoiled royal prince from their time at private school.  And while I say grudge, it’s actually more of a searing, deep resentment towards the Prince (whom she has secretly longed for since school and whom causes her to drool all over herself when she thinks about him at night) over his rejection of her in their youth.  As you can imagine, this is all setting up really well for a redemption romance.  The only other characters of note are Charles Shaughnessy, as one of the most stereotypical caricatures of a monarch ever seen on screen, playing King Edward and Melinda Shankar as the cute but completely out of place, unbelievable and incompetent head of the Prince's security detail, Bella.

It turns out that the Prince is a really spiffy guy with rock hard abs who loves children (which is a good thing since he is recovering in a children’s ward) and is attracted to Tasha.  Tasha and Alex bond over their long strolls through the hospital, their arguments with the King and Dr. Gonzalez over security concerns and when playing with all the sick children (who seem really spry despite the fact they must be in the hospital because they are sick right?).  There’s a scene where she is forced to confront the embarrassing, accidental, butt dialed voicemail she left on Alex’s phone where she describes how devastatingly handsome and charming the Prince is (My, how convenient and . . . what realistic sound quality for an inadvertent call.).  We see nurse Jeff hit on Security Chief Bella following an incident where she physically immobilizes him because he’s wearing a Santa Suit (Oh no, another hitman posing as Santa.  Get him!!!).  Prince Alex also bonds with a lonely little boy who has a big surgery upcoming.

Tasha gets into an argument with Dr. Gonzalez regarding security issues (And then lashes out as Prince Alex as the cause of it – ooooh, tension!!!!) and only intervention by the Royal family saves her job.  Alex brings the sick boy’s mother in so she can be there for the boy’s surgery and arranges for the boy’s favorite pop singer to visit and perform for the children.  At a Christmas gift giving for the sick children, Alex gives Tasha the gift of going to his family’s Royal Christmas Charity Dinner and dance up against the Prince’s chiseled body and rock hard abs (Oh and by the way, sorry for dissing you all those years back when you were jailbait.).  The Dinner is normally held in locations around the world and this year it will be held in locally because of production budget issues . . . . the Prince’s broken leg.  Tasha handles this offer by going all gaga and kissing the prince.  Things then take a sudden turn when she meets Miranda (Anastasia Marinina), who introduces herself as Alex’s fiancé (Uhhh . . . . ohhhh).  Furious, she storms off before Alex manages to fake a leg injury and explains that Miranda is just some crazy, delusional ex-fiance of his brother (recently deceased).

Tasha dresses up for the charity event after her shift at work.  She looks amazing (of course) and meets up with Alex in the lobby who is either wearing a royal uniform or something he stole from an early 20th Century Canadian Mountie.  Miranda takes over the film's role of evil adversary from Dr. Gonzalez (who is pretty much out of the story by this point).  Tasha uses her incredible bionic hearing to overhear two women thirty feet away, in a loud and crowded dance hall, discuss how Prince Alex will dump the loser American doctor because she’s not of royal blood.  Miranda walks up and tells her the same thing.  Tasha, who has constantly been switching personalities between assertive, confidant doctor to pathetic, insecure, rejected schoolgirl switches to the latter and attempts to leave.  Elsewhere, King Edward meets with Alex and tells his son that he’s been a huge, irresponsible, disappointment up until recently.  However, now that he’s been made aware of how good Alex is around sick children, Edward finds him to be a fit and worth heir to the crown and a remarkable young man (Sure, why not?).  King Edward also finds Tasha before she leaves (mainly because he told security to detain her) and gives her an inspirational speech to tough it out with Alex because she loves him and she’s the reason he has become the man he has (So much for that earlier talk praising Alex on the strides he’s made.  Turns out it was all Tasha.).  The King then excuses himself because he needs to hurry over to Wendy’s to try their new Classic Smokey Applewood Bacon Burger while he’s in town – it’s a limited time offer you know!!!

With her newfound sense of self confidence she goes back into the ball, tells Miranda off and that she looks and sounds like Natasha from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show (well she should have because it’s absolutely true.  It is uncanny.).  She AGAIN tells Alex she loves him (Nobody disputes that anymore, it’s like the 9th time you have mentioned as much in this film).  They dance, they kiss and he tells her she will be in charge of his new Children’s charity (Whoopee!!!).  Nurse Jeff even has a music-less dance with Bella back at the hospital.  Whether either of these relationships will last more than a week in the real world is up to your i-m-a-g-i-n-a-t-i-o-n!!!!

Both leads were attractive enough but there less spark between them than you'd find setting off fireworks during a hurricane.  The story was bland and forced.  The characters were shallow and unappealing.  If I had to say anything nice about the film it would be that it ended on time and didn’t run over it’s 120 minute program window.  I give it a 1 out of 5.