Kristopher Turner stars as Matt Blessing, an out-of-work older teen or early 20-something soon to be father. Matt spends the beginning of the movie searching for a job. I know this movie was made in the mid 2000s but the setting has to be earlier because there are phone booths, no one has a cell phone, he’s searching for a job from paper want ads (and people still get and read the newspaper in this universe!!!). I’ll get that out of the way now since it’s perhaps the hardest part of the movie to relate to. Matt has a pregnant girlfriend, Megan (Emma Taylor-Isherwood), although based on their interaction the term ‘girlfriend’ might be a bit of a stretch (Baby-mama might be more accurate). It doesn’t seem that Megan is interested in being a mother or having a family. She tells Matt during his visit that she is going to put the baby up for adoption. Matt suspects this is the influence of Megan’s mother and still believes they could be a happy family.
Later Matt gets a knock on the door. It turns out that he has a call . . . from the payphone . . . in the hallway . . . on the wall directly across from his apartment door (That’s where the community phone for the entire floor is? I bet that never gets old. Especially when it rings in the middle of the night.) It is about Megan, who is in the hospital in labor. He rushes to her bedside. She delivers while Matt waits outside in the waiting area. Later Megan’s mom tells Matt that adoption is for the best. Megan’s mom is adamant that she knows what is best. Megan is young and should be starting college and having the best times of her life (Sounds a bit like an former sorority girl waxing poetic about her crazy college years). Matt strongly disagrees and states that she and Megan are in love and can make a family despite their lack of resources or Matt’s family background (Hmmm, sounds ominous.). Matt is overjoyed when he finds out he has a son and goes to the nursery to be with him.
Matt tries to call his mother to let her know but her number is not in service. He goes to her work and finds out she has left to work at the casinos down by the shore. He leaves his contact information with his mom’s former employer. At the hospital, Megan is meeting with the adoptive parents and assures them there is no problem with the father. Matt arrives and talks to Megan but cannot change her mind. She doesn’t want to be a mom, she just wants to have fun (Cindi Lauper would approve). Megan tells Matt that he doesn’t have to be involved in the adoption because they are not married so he has no rights (I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works). Then again, she lied about who the adoptive parents were when he asked about them in his room too . . . sooooo . . . she’s probably not getting a “mother of the year” nomination anytime soon.
When Matt gets back to his apartment, he finds his estranged mother. They have a short conversation before she has to catch her train. Based on the discussion, she wasn’t up for too many “mother of the year” awards either and Matt went on his own at a young age. Matt runs into the couple from earlier and shoves the man before going to see Megan and the baby. Megan is resolute, the baby is going to be adopted. Luke offers to take the baby back to the baby after its feeding. On the way he sees the couple he accosted talking to a security guard. Worried he might be identified (I mean he did shove the guy against the wall screaming “You’re not taking my baby!!! So they may have a clue as to who is is.) Matt decides he has only one recourse . . . to kidnap the baby (WTF???). He walks out with the newborn tucked into his jacket (Yeah, that’s not suspicious, not at all). I know security is pretty tight in maternity wards these days but apparently at the time of this movie it was as easy to get yourself a infant in New Jersey as to walk into the nearest hospital and swing by delivery wing (Easy, Peasy, Lemon Squeezy).
With the baby in tow, Matt knows he has to go somewhere the authorities will never find him . . . his apartment (huh???). A friend (or maybe just some random guy, he wasn’t in the movie before) brings him some baby items. With (I mean, I assume since he just kidnapped a baby) the authorities hot on his heels he takes the babe on a bus ride to Bracebridge. Matt has no real knowledge of how to care for an infant which explains why he would steal a newborn without any actual baby supplies and then expose him to freezing winter conditions while on the run. He finds his estranged grandmother, Glennie (Louise Fletcher), who owns a local Inn. He tells his grandmother that his son is named Luke just like his grandfather (I don’t know if this is what was on the birth certificate and a lucky coincidence or he renamed the baby Luke after he stole him). Glennie allows him to stay and he finds some short term work with the neighboring owner, Jim, of a tree farm. In the douchebag Jim’s kitchen, Matt notices in the newspaper (that’s right . . . newspapers!) a story about a baby kidnapped from the hospital. It must not be a real kidnapping case though because earlier Matt called Megan and her mother to tell them the baby was fine and no one seemed to care.
The local sheriff comes to the Inn, Glennie talks to them while Matt hides the baby out back. Glennie tells the officer that Matt and the baby are both her grandsons and they are safe. So . . . . wait a minute, aren’t the cops following up on all of Matt’s family to find him? They are looking for her grandson and infant great grandson but, hey, there’s only her grandson and his infant BROTHER at the grandmother’s house. The kid is obviously not here. WTH? Are these Jedi mind tricks? So, am I supposed to believe that they didn’t go to Glennie’s place because of her relation to Matt and that, instead, they have deputy Barney Fife simply knocking on every single door in the tri-state area asking, “Did you see a guy and a kidnapped baby around here?”. When the hospital notified the police about the missing baby, did it get assigned to the ‘Parking Enforcement’ division?
When walking down the road with Luke (Again, taking a newborn out in freezing conditions for a long period of time. Does no one know enough to tell Matt that babies should not be exposed to extreme conditions?) he is approached by a truck driven by Pam (Lindsey Ames), the local hot, single college age girl (but of course) who asks if Matt needs a ride. Matt is evasive and declines and after several attempts Pam drives away. Matt is taking care of Luke and reading a baby book (hopefully there is a chapter in there on the inability of infants to regulate their body temperature) trying to learn more caregiver skills when Glennie says she will watch him and he can go into town for a break. He drives to town where he meets . . . PAM!!! Pam works at her family meat shop and is extremely straightforward and aggressive when she meets boys she likes. After spilling out her life story to a complete stranger she and Luke go to dinner together (working at the family business must mean you can pretty much come and go as you please.) where I guess she can tell Matt even MORE about herself. Pam is leaving town because she doesn’t want to end up stuck in Bracebridge working at the family business. After leaving dinner she asks him that since she is leaving town soon if he would like to go with her. Matt asks if they can bring Luke, his baby ‘brother’. Now, I’m not sure which of these two comments is more disturbing – “Hey, I just met you would like to run away with me?” or “Sure, can we bring my baby brother???” – so I am going to call this a draw. And everyone knows that two inappropriate comments cancel out to zero, so all is good.
That night, back at the Inn, Matt sees the neighboring douchebag, Jim, set the shed on fire. He runs inside to warn Glennie, grab the baby and call the Fire Department. He then runs out back to spray the shed with a water hose until he realizes all the cans and barrels of fuel sitting around. Noticing the extreme danger he does what any parent with a brand new baby depending on him would do – he moves all the fuel barrels and fuel cans away. It turns out to be a waste of time because the fire burns down on its own and even the trees that were literally on fire, next to the shed moments ago, when it was at its peak have put themselves out. The Fire Department arrives and extinguishes the remaining fire. The next morning neighbor douchebag Jim arrives and Matt states he knows who set the fire. But Jim knows Luke is the kidnapped baby so they both better keep their secrets (Of course, this hillbilly figures it all out but no one else can? It must be because he still still reads the paper!).
Glennie sits down with Matt and says that he needs to get custody. Apparently, he hasn’t really thought this through (understatement of the year). I mean think about it, the baby is going to need doctor visits (in fact it’s a miracle the baby isn’t sick from all the times you take it out in the freezing cold) and is Matt supposed to be on the run forever? No birth certificate, is the kid just going to be homeschooled in secret, etc. Luckily, Glennie’s friend, Bert (Jack Shepherd), just happens to be an attorney (Praise Be!!!) and will help Matt. Matt and Glennie go into town and he runs into Pam and asks to see her again. Later she comes to Glennie’s Inn and Matt admits that Luke is his son (Matt likes to keep his dates memorable). Pam convinces Matt to tell the authorities, so Matt calls the cops, makes a statement about Jim burning down the shed and admits he kidnapped Luke from his mother and the hospital. Apparently, kidnapping is just a misdemeanor around here because not only don’t they immediately arrest Matt but they let him keep Luke until social services decides what to do (the crew from Ocean’s Eleven couldn’t get away with this much).
Matt and Glennie discuss Matt’s father leaving when he was seven and the issues between Glennie and Matt’s mother. It becomes obvious that parenting isn’t really this family’s forte so Luke better hope that’s not a genetic trait. Matt takes Luke on a walk through the snow-covered woods to say goodbye before handing him over to Social Services (if taking infants out for long walks in the cold was a pre-requisite for Father of the Year this guy is a shoo-in). Later Pam is at the bus stop with Matt about leave town. They say their goodbyes and share a farewell kiss. Glennie and Matt have another argument about his mother. Matt calls his mother to update her on everything and ask her to come visit for Christmas. He then sees Jim Douchebag’s son at the local diner where he compliments his muffins (no, there’s no flirting involved, it’s just Matt trying to make nice with the son of the guy he put in jail for Christmas) as if this will patch things up (what . . . was . . . the point of . . . this scene???).
Next comes the court hearing where Megan admits she wants custody to give the baby up for adoption. She admits she didn’t sign over Luke’s custody (not sure what that even means) and didn’t press charges right away (Ohhh, is that why the police never came looking for the baby but instead put up an add on Craigslist? “Baby Missing, please return if found. $50 Reward!!!). Of course, she said “right away” suggesting that she did press some kind of charges (it isn’t explained and Matt is never actually charged with anything). Megan then tells the court she can’t look after Luke because she’s going to college and wants to get on with her life and if Matt has Luke she won’t be free (You know, if mom had bothered to retain even a slightly competent counsel for this hearing you might not have shot yourself in the foot like that in the courtroom. Hell, you practically blew your foot clean off.). Matt takes the stand and gives a speech on the meaning of being a father and how his lack of a family made him want to give that to his son. The judge decides Matt will retain custody.
Matt brings Luke home for Christmas (this court is open right before Christmas to hold the hearing?) where Matt, Bert, Glennie and Pam are celebrating. Matt’s mother shows up and she reconciles with Glennie. He decides to stay to help Glennie get the lodge open again. The movie ends with all of them sitting down to Christmas dinner. Let me say that I don’t really feel this is a Christmas movie. I think it is a movie that happens around Christmas so a network grabbed it, rebranded it and now it is shown at Christmas. The characters are not bad despite some implausibility regarding the court system and law enforcement (as if a baby being kidnapped would not be a huge story ANYWHERE as opposed to being treated as a back-page story, posted adjacent that evening’s TV listings). Turner and Ames were fine as the romantic leads, especially within what they were given to work with, and Fletcher gave Glennie a believable feel as the gruff but caring grandmother. It’s a shame that Pam didn’t have a bigger role in the film since Ames was a bright spot in the film despite her limited time. Unfortunately, because of all the “What? Are you f’in kidding me?” moments I had to deal with during the film I only give it a 2.5 out of 5.
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