I’ll admit, just the title of this movie gave it one strike in my book.  “Santa’s Boots”?  Really?  Have they already reused all the good titles and are farming out the naming of these Holiday Movies to 5^th graders?  The title DOES have a slight connection to the plot but still . . . come on people . . . you can do better!  Santa’s Boots stars Megan Hilty as Holly (of course) Montell, a Wharton Smith graduate and active wear account executive from Seattle.  She’s really super-duper at her job . . . so much so that she has accrued a ton of vacation days and will lose them if not used soon.   To rectify that, her boss orders her home to spend time with her family (Why don’t you take off for Thanksgiving and don’t come back to work until after New Years?).

Holly’s family are the owners of a local department store.  Her best friend, Elle (Patricia Isaac), is the marketing director at Montell’s department store.  In the current push for diversity in these holiday films, Elle is one of the first prominent Indian characters I can recall seeing.  It’s not a huge role and, common with almost all Holiday Movie besties, involves her alerting Holly to the fact that she is in love with her co-star.  Because, just like in real life, no one would ever know they had fallen in love if not for the gentle reminders of their closest friends.

The other half of our holiday pairing is Noah Mills who plays Nick Porter, the co-owner of a tree farm.  We first see Nick hard at work at the tree farm with his Uncle Ralph.  Things seem fine until Uncle Ralph tells Nick he plans to retire after the holiday season and needs to know if Nick is going to take over the business.   Ralph - “No, you can’t have any time to think about it Nick, I need to know RIGHT EFF’N NOW!!!!”  When Nick refuses to immediately claim his position as rightful heir to the throne of Tree Land, Ralph banishes him from the lot until he decides what he wants in life.  The legalities of all this isn’t really explained, suffice it to say that Ralph and Nick’s dad were the ones who started the tree farm so it’s expected that Nick will take it over.  He kisses his girlfriend goodbye (Wait . . . he has a GIRLFRIEND?!?!) and leaves the farm.

Nick’s best friend is Rob, played by Matt Hamilton.  Rob happens to own a Santa Staffing business (his family must be sooooo proud).  I’m not sure how he pays the bills from January to October but he is busy as chit these days.  Rob laments that all his Santa’s are frail and infirm (because they are old men) and his elves are flighty and unreliable (because they are young girls).  Since Nick now has plenty of time in his hands to decide if he wants to assume the mantle of Forest King, he offers to help Rob out by working as one of the Store Santas (You’ll never guess which store he ends up at).

Holly is sitting with Elle’s office with Santa Nick and Cara the elf standing in her doorway.  Elle is OUTRAGED at the youthfulness of Nick and demands an older Santa.  Nick says that none are available but he’s really good with kids (from his vast experience at the Arbor Kingdom).  Elle relents but then realizes Cara is sick and knows the only way to solve this problem is by Holly, the boss’s daughter, assuming the role while Cara recovers.  Additionally, the elf suit is very small and Holly is the only one around who will fit . . . . seriously WHAT!?!?!?   Holly is like twice as thick as Cara and 3 cup sizes bigger.  That outfit should like a friggin’ spandex leotard if Holly tried to wear it . . . . oh . . . . no . . . wait . . . . I’m wrong.   Look, it just so happens to fit perfectly.  It must be Christmas Magic!

So now Nick and Holly are working together to help the dreams of children come true.  They are both nice and affable and quickly develop a bond.  While many of these movies pit the leads against each other with conflicting personalities at the beginning, thankfully we are spared this trope.  Later, when the two Christmas characters take a lunch break, Nick removes his Santa coat to reveal his lanky lumberjack body.  Holly is so taken with the view that she just stares awkwardly for several seconds.  I doubt she could have been more conspicuous in her gaze than if Nick had just been revealed to be a faun (half man, half goat).  So there we have it: two attractive 35 year old adults who get along great and now sex appeal . . . . wham bam thank you ma’am . . . our job is done here right?  Ohhh wait, we still have 90 minutes of movie time to kill.

Holly snoops around Elle’s desk and discovers that sales at the family store are going in the tank (Damn you internet!!!).   Luckily, Holly and Nick are a huge success and bringing in all kinds of business.  They are also bringing in some of the most attractive children and parents you will ever find in a small town.  I don’t know what’s in the water up there but it is working!!!  Elle realizes that Holly is in love because she catches Holly singing along with her (Ah ha, Holly!  Busted!!!).  While at home, Nick is visited by his girlfriend, Jenny (Andrea Brooks) who thinks it’s a good time to break up with him (well, that IS super convenient).  Apparently, they want different things in life.  Jenny has a bunch of new ideas on how to improve the Tree Farm that he’s about to take over and . . . . yeah, I don’t get it either but let’s just move on.   Now that the hot girlfriend is out of the way (and she broke up with him so he’s not even the bad guy), Nick is officially ripe for the picking for our sweet Holly elf.

While working late at night, Nick invites Holly to a Santa bash at a local bar.  By the way, Cara has been back at work for almost a month now.   Why is Holly still doing the elf gig other than because she’s completely and utterly smitten with our good St. Nick?   So, of course, Holly agrees and dresses up in her hottest cocktail dress for the evening (I mean when in a bar with a bunch of old guys wearing Santa outfits you must figure out some way to stand out, right???).  Nick and Holly have some drinks, chat and kiss!!!  But just as it happens, Nick gets an emergency text, apologizes and leaves.  He rushes to the hospital where Uncle Ralph has literally worked himself into the intensive care.

When Nick doesn’t show up to work, Holly starts to panic.  Apparently, in the month of working together (during and after hours) and meeting up at the bar not ONCE have they exchanged texts, called each other or even bothered to learn each other’s last names.  Now I’m really starting to think this is more of a summer crush than true love.  Luckily BFF Elle concocts a plan to find Nick.  Nick left his work/Santa boots at the store to be repaired (see how the title ties in) and Elle devises a way to use them to locate Nick . . . by creating a big Cinderella like boot fitting for everyone in the Kingdom.  Brilliant right?  Well, brilliant might be too strong of a term . . . . so how about . . . utterly and completely idiotic?  

Cinderella was a fairy tale that would only make an ounce of sense if Cinderella either had freakishly large or tiny feet.  Let’s say Nick was a standard size 11 shoe.  How many guys would have to try on those boots before the odds were that one of them would be the same size?  5 guys? 6?  And what do they win?  A prize?  Cash?  The boots?  What is the whole point to this?  Chances are that Nick will eventually come back and get his boots anyways making this a complete waste of time.  But hey . . . the movie IS called Santa’s Boots ya know so . . . . let’s go with it!!!

I forgot to mention that a large retail chain has offered to buy Montell’s.   Holly researches the offer by talking to an executive at another store previously acquired and has discovered that being purchased by Wincoff Retail is a soul stealing and heart blackening experience for all those involved . . . but the money is good if you are an owner.  Based on this and a discussion with her father about the welfare of Montell’s employees, Holly recommends that Dad sells (WTF?!?!).   Meanwhile, at the hospital, Nick has a similar conversation with Uncle Ralph and suggests that he give the farm to Jenny (WTF!?!?).  Is Ralph just going to sign over the deed and the business over to Jenny for nothing?  Is she just going to run the business on behalf of Nick and Ralph?  Is she supposed to come up with the money necessary to buy out the Porters?  And sweet old Holly just couldn't care less about the employees of her family’s business (some of whom are her best friends)?  Wow . . . . that escalated quickly.

While leaving the hospital from an Uncle Ralph visit, Nick runs into Holly’s grandmother who demands that Nick attend the annual Christmas Eve Ball as her guest.  When Nick arrives at the ball he finds a station where complete strangers have been allowed to try on his favorite boots (sounds pretty hygienic) for the past week.  Nick then hear’s Holly’s dad announce that he is selling the company . . . errr . . . Holly will be the new store CEO (see what happens when you give someone 40 days of vacation around the holidays?  They take another job!).  Nick arrives in the ballroom and dances with Holly, they kiss and tell how they feel about each other; never once mentioning his boots which pretty much proves that, other than for the title, the secondary boot story was completely pointless and irrelevant to the film's plot.  The last scene is Nick with Holly’s family on Christmas morning.  We assume that this means they are finally ready to take the next step in their relationship . . . . exchanging phone numbers.

I didn’t expect much from this movie given its ridiculous title.  There wasn’t any great spark between the leads but they were both pleasant and appealing enough.  The behavior and direction of the main characters made it seem more like a potential crush than a burgeoning, lifetime romance.  Still, sometimes a growing fondness is more believable than a whirlwind and impassioned fling.  I would describe this movie as forgettable (except for the stupid name) but enjoyable.  I give it a 3 out of 5.

As you can probably glean from the title, this movie takes place in Memphis, Tennessee and much of it revolves around the estate of the former “king of rock and roll”, Elvis Presley.  Kellie Pickler plays a Chicago financial executive, Laurel, who returns to her hometown for a week to negotiate a merger with a local bank.  Kellie displays her melodic voice and musical acumen on several occasions during the film.  Unfortunately, despite being a fine singer, she’s not much of an actress which negates any benefit of her singing talent.  Laurel is joined by her daughter, Emma (Claire Green) on her trip.  The beginning of the movie basically sets up that she is overworked and unable to spend as much time with her daughter as she would like.

When in Memphis she, literally, bumps into her old flame Clay (Wes Brown) in front of the Graceland Mansion.  Apparently, she and Clay used to be a musical act during their college years before breaking up.  Clay is now a concert promoter working out of Memphis.  They reconnect during her trip and both are (shockingly) single.  The other characters of note are Sally (Tamara Austin), Laurel’s old college friend, and Mr. Franklin (Tommie Cresswell), the bank owner that Laurel has been sent to negotiate with.

This movie is as full of Christmas and TV cliches as you can imagine.

• You have the greedy, work obsessed northern banker consumed with money and profit versus the kind hearted, country banker who cares more about reputation and his employees than financial reward.  
• The former loving couple in Clay and Laurel who, despite being separated for years, quickly reconnect and rekindle their old flame upon a chance meeting.  
• Two people traveling around a city of over half a million people who seem to constantly run into each other at various locations.  
• The successful but unhappy lead who leaves her hometown to pursue her career but upon returning starts to realize that her true place is back where she grew up.
• The former relationship of the leads ended when the parent of one of the characters dies.

Sally is Laurel’s black college friend, who also serves to watch Emma while Laurel is in town working.  Sally has a daughter of her own around the same age as Emma (and of course the two become best buddies in their week together).  In what has become common in these movies over the past few years, there seems to be a conscious decision to show diversity by casting minorities as best friends or secondary characters.  For this movie, Tamara seems to be the character of choice.  Alas, Sally’s screen time is limited and she is mostly relegated to lines stating how great it is to see someone, how they will miss someone or pointing out the obvious.  Still, Tamara was one of the more appealing characters in the movie and it’s too bad she couldn’t have been the lead and let Pickler fill the less demanding best friend role (Laurel could have been in town encouraging best friend Sally-Pickler to get on stage and perform for the Graceland concert).

Now there were things that really irked me in this movie (Warning: rant follows).  I’m familiar with Memphis and with Tennessee so when I saw the movie had snow on the ground everywhere I was pretty much . . . . “WTF?  Where is this movie supposed to be again?”.  First off, I can tell you with high confidence that it hardly ever snows in Memphis in December.  The odds of it snowing in December in Memphis are about the same as having an Asian cast as a lead character in one of these Christmas movies (i.e. It’s pretty rare).  Secondly, when it does snow it is not very much and it doesn’t stay on the ground long.  For there to be snow on the ground for a week as portrayed in this movie would mean freezing temperatures day and night for almost a week or more.  Even those occasional artic blasts that push into the southern states don’t just last forever.  The landscape of this movie is more like “The Day After Tomorrow” scenario where drastic weather change signifies the end of the world.  And I’m guessing that in a case like that, the Christmas concert would be cancelled in the evacuation.  Thirdly, since it doesn’t snow in Tennessee, the State DOT doesn’t invest in plows and other snow clearing equipment.  This means if it DID snow the city would essentially shut down to keep people off the roads.  People in the South don’t know how to drive in the ice and snow unless they are transplants from the North.  So from that aspect, this whole movie is total bullsh*t.  Once you get beyond these curious weather anomalies and the fact that Clay and Laurel have complete, unlimited and unaccompanied access to the Graceland Mansion to include entering the restricted areas and playing Elvis’s piano after hours . . . . it seems entirely believable.

I’m guessing that the Graceland Estate and the Guest House at Graceland hotel were sponsors for this movie because much of it seemed like a commercial for where to book lodging on your next trip to Memphis.  Let us talk about Laurel and Emma’s hotel room . . . . WOW.  It was either the Guest House equivalent of the Presidential Suite or this hotel is strictly for oil barons, hollywood celebrities, professional athletes and, of course, Chicago banking executives.  It’s unlikely any average traveler could afford to stay here if this is a typical room.  No wonder Chicago needs to layoff so many Memphis employees and slash benefits . . . . how else can they afford the local accommodations for business travel?  And if you stay at the Guest House you get your own personal concierge who will give you gifts and bring you cookies at any time of day and night!!!!  Plus, if you want to put up your own Christmas tree in your room (that you had hauled into your hotel from the tree lot) . . . .  NO PROBLEM!!!

The plot details are unimportant since the leads are so bland and there is no chemistry between them.  Wes Brown is the superior of the two leads since . . . well . . . he can act.  The story is just a vehicle to get them together and the crisis is caused by the common cliché of where the employee is called back early (before Christmas).  I guess employers constantly do this in Christmas movies because they discover the incredibly low last-minute fares for flying right before Christmas???  Laurel turns around and arrives at the Graceland Christmas concert (that she had backed out of at the last minute) and performs with Clay.  Even though it has to be below freezing (snow on the ground remember?), she performs in a low cut, sleeveless, red dress for the show.  Modern concert lighting must be lot hotter than I ever imagined.

Following the concert Mr. Franklin offers Laurel a job so she and Clay can now renew their bland, boring, unromantic relationship (YEEAAAYYY!!!).  This job offer is not due to her professional behavior, instead it is based on hearing her sing that Mr. Franklin becomes convinced she was a true Memphisite . . . Memphisonian . . . . Memphiser . . . ummmm . . . . southern girl.  I guess the innate knowledge of local barbecue and thick southern accent wasn’t enough to give it away.  Speaking of which, I understand that Laurel has a strong southern accent (despite living in the north for years) but what I don’t understand is why it is so noticeable in Memphis.  Shouldn’t the Memphis locals have the same accent she acquired growing up in Memphis?  (Answer: She’s probably the only actual southerner in the entire cast.  The rest are misappropriating southern culture!!!).

Save your time and money (even though it’s free).  There are better holiday movies around than this one.  I give it a 1 out of 5.

Kristopher Turner stars as Matt Blessing, an out-of-work older teen or early 20-something soon to be father.  Matt spends the beginning of the movie searching for a job.  I know this movie was made in the mid 2000s but the setting has to be earlier because there are phone booths, no one has a cell phone, he’s searching for a job from paper want ads (and people still get and read the newspaper in this universe!!!).  I’ll get that out of the way now since it’s perhaps the hardest part of the movie to relate to.  Matt has a pregnant girlfriend, Megan (Emma Taylor-Isherwood), although based on their interaction the term ‘girlfriend’ might be a bit of a stretch (Baby-mama might be more accurate).  It doesn’t seem that Megan is interested in being a mother or having a family.  She tells Matt during his visit that she is going to put the baby up for adoption.  Matt suspects this is the influence of Megan’s mother and still believes they could be a happy family.

Later Matt gets a knock on the door.  It turns out that he has a call . . . from the payphone . . . in the hallway . . . on the wall directly across from his apartment door (That’s where the community phone for the entire floor is?  I bet that never gets old.  Especially when it rings in the middle of the night.)  It is about Megan, who is in the hospital in labor.  He rushes to her bedside.  She delivers while Matt waits outside in the waiting area.  Later Megan’s mom tells Matt that adoption is for the best.  Megan’s mom is adamant that she knows what is best.  Megan is young and should be starting college and having the best times of her life (Sounds a bit like an former sorority girl waxing poetic about her crazy college years).  Matt strongly disagrees and states that she and Megan are in love and can make a family despite their lack of resources or Matt’s family background (Hmmm, sounds ominous.).  Matt is overjoyed when he finds out he has a son and goes to the nursery to be with him.

Matt tries to call his mother to let her know but her number is not in service.  He goes to her work and finds out she has left to work at the casinos down by the shore.  He leaves his contact information with his mom’s former employer.  At the hospital, Megan is meeting with the adoptive parents and assures them there is no problem with the father.  Matt arrives and talks to Megan but cannot change her mind. She doesn’t want to be a mom, she just wants to have fun (Cindi Lauper would approve).  Megan tells Matt that he doesn’t have to be involved in the adoption because they are not married so he has no rights (I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works).  Then again, she lied about who the adoptive parents were when he asked about them in his room too . . . sooooo . . . she’s probably not getting a “mother of the year” nomination anytime soon.

When Matt gets back to his apartment, he finds his estranged mother.  They have a short conversation before she has to catch her train.  Based on the discussion, she wasn’t up for too many “mother of the year” awards either and Matt went on his own at a young age.  Matt runs into the couple from earlier and shoves the man before going to see Megan and the baby.  Megan is resolute, the baby is going to be adopted.  Luke offers to take the baby back to the baby after its feeding.  On the way he sees the couple he accosted talking to a security guard.  Worried he might be identified (I mean he did shove the guy against the wall screaming “You’re not taking my baby!!!  So they may have a clue as to who is is.) Matt decides he has only one recourse . . . to kidnap the baby (WTF???).  He walks out with the newborn tucked into his jacket (Yeah, that’s not suspicious, not at all).  I know security is pretty tight in maternity wards these days but apparently at the time of this movie it was as easy to get yourself a infant in New Jersey as to walk into the nearest hospital and swing by delivery wing (Easy, Peasy, Lemon Squeezy).

With the baby in tow, Matt knows he has to go somewhere the authorities will never find him . . . his apartment (huh???).  A friend (or maybe just some random guy, he wasn’t in the movie before) brings him some baby items.  With (I mean, I assume since he just kidnapped a baby) the authorities hot on his heels he takes the babe on a bus ride to Bracebridge.  Matt has no real knowledge of how to care for an infant which explains why he would steal a newborn without any actual baby supplies and then expose him to freezing winter conditions while on the run.  He finds his estranged grandmother, Glennie (Louise Fletcher), who owns a local Inn.  He tells his grandmother that his son is named Luke just like his grandfather (I don’t know if this is what was on the birth certificate and a lucky coincidence or he renamed the baby Luke after he stole him). Glennie allows him to stay and he finds some short term work with the neighboring owner, Jim, of a tree farm.  In the douchebag Jim’s kitchen, Matt notices in the newspaper (that’s right . . . newspapers!) a story about a baby kidnapped from the hospital.  It must not be a real kidnapping case though because earlier Matt called Megan and her mother to tell them the baby was fine and no one seemed to care.

The local sheriff comes to the Inn, Glennie talks to them while Matt hides the baby out back.  Glennie tells the officer that Matt and the baby are both her grandsons and they are safe.  So . . . . wait a minute, aren’t the cops following up on all of Matt’s family to find him?  They are looking for her grandson and infant great grandson but, hey, there’s only her grandson and his infant BROTHER at the grandmother’s house.  The kid is obviously not here.  WTH?  Are these Jedi mind tricks?  So, am I supposed to believe that they didn’t go to Glennie’s place because of her relation to Matt and that, instead, they have deputy Barney Fife simply knocking on every single door in the tri-state area asking, “Did you see a guy and a kidnapped baby around here?”.  When the hospital notified the police about the missing baby, did it get assigned to the ‘Parking Enforcement’ division? 

When walking down the road with Luke (Again, taking a newborn out in freezing conditions for a long period of time.  Does no one know enough to tell Matt that babies should not be exposed to extreme conditions?) he is approached by a truck driven by Pam (Lindsey Ames), the local hot, single college age girl (but of course) who asks if Matt needs a ride.  Matt is evasive and declines and after several attempts Pam drives away.  Matt is taking care of Luke and reading a baby book (hopefully there is a chapter in there on the inability of infants to regulate their body temperature) trying to learn more caregiver skills when Glennie says she will watch him and he can go into town for a break.  He drives to town where he meets . . . PAM!!!  Pam works at her family meat shop and is extremely straightforward and aggressive when she meets boys she likes.  After spilling out her life story to a complete stranger she and Luke go to dinner together (working at the family business must mean you can pretty much come and go as you please.) where I guess she can tell Matt even MORE about herself.  Pam is leaving town because she doesn’t want to end up stuck in Bracebridge working at the family business.  After leaving dinner she asks him that since she is leaving town soon if he would like to go with her.  Matt asks if they can bring Luke, his baby ‘brother’.  Now, I’m not sure which of these two comments is more  disturbing – “Hey, I just met you would like to run away with me?” or “Sure, can we bring my baby brother???” – so I am going to call this a draw.  And everyone knows that two inappropriate comments cancel out to zero, so all is good.

That night, back at the Inn, Matt sees the neighboring douchebag, Jim, set the shed on fire.  He runs inside to warn Glennie, grab the baby and call the Fire Department.  He then runs out back to spray the shed with a water hose until he realizes all the cans and barrels of fuel sitting around.  Noticing the extreme danger he does what any parent with a brand new baby depending on him would do – he moves all the fuel barrels and fuel cans away.  It turns out to be a waste of time because the fire burns down on its own and even the trees that were literally on fire, next to the shed moments ago, when it was at its peak have put themselves out.  The Fire Department arrives and extinguishes the remaining fire.  The next morning neighbor douchebag Jim arrives and Matt states he knows who set the fire.  But Jim knows Luke is the kidnapped baby so they both better keep their secrets (Of course, this hillbilly figures it all out but no one else can?  It must be because he still still reads the paper!).

Glennie sits down with Matt and says that he needs to get custody.  Apparently, he hasn’t really thought this through (understatement of the year).  I mean think about it, the baby is going to need doctor visits (in fact it’s a miracle the baby isn’t sick from all the times you take it out in the freezing cold) and is Matt supposed to be on the run forever?  No birth certificate, is the kid just going to be homeschooled in secret, etc.  Luckily, Glennie’s friend, Bert (Jack Shepherd), just happens to be an attorney (Praise Be!!!) and will help Matt.  Matt and Glennie go into town and he runs into Pam and asks to see her again.  Later she comes to Glennie’s Inn and Matt admits that Luke is his son (Matt likes to keep his dates memorable).  Pam convinces Matt to tell the authorities, so Matt calls the cops, makes a statement about Jim burning down the shed and admits he kidnapped Luke from his mother and the hospital.   Apparently, kidnapping is just a misdemeanor around here because not only don’t they immediately arrest Matt but they let him keep Luke until social services decides what to do (the crew from Ocean’s Eleven couldn’t get away with this much).

Matt and Glennie discuss Matt’s father leaving when he was seven and the issues between Glennie and Matt’s mother.  It becomes obvious that parenting isn’t really this family’s forte so Luke better hope that’s not a genetic trait.  Matt takes Luke on a walk through the snow-covered woods to say goodbye before handing him over to Social Services (if taking infants out for long walks in the cold was a pre-requisite for Father of the Year this guy is a shoo-in).  Later Pam is at the bus stop with Matt about leave town.  They say their goodbyes and share a farewell kiss.  Glennie and Matt have another argument about his mother.  Matt calls his mother to update her on everything and ask her to come visit for Christmas.  He then sees Jim Douchebag’s son at the local diner where he compliments his muffins (no, there’s no flirting involved, it’s just Matt trying to make nice with the son of the guy he put in jail for Christmas) as if this will patch things up (what . . . was . . . the point of . . . this scene???).

Next comes the court hearing where Megan admits she wants custody to give the baby up for adoption.  She admits she didn’t sign over Luke’s custody (not sure what that even means) and didn’t press charges right away (Ohhh, is that why the police never came looking for the baby but instead put up an add on Craigslist?  “Baby Missing, please return if found.  $50 Reward!!!).  Of course, she said “right away” suggesting that she did press some kind of charges (it isn’t explained and Matt is never actually charged with anything).  Megan then tells the court she can’t look after Luke because she’s going to college and wants to get on with her life and if Matt has Luke she won’t be free (You know, if mom had bothered to retain even a slightly competent counsel for this hearing you might not have shot yourself in the foot like that in the courtroom.  Hell, you practically blew your foot clean off.).  Matt takes the stand and gives a speech on the meaning of being a father and how his lack of a family made him want to give that to his son.  The judge decides Matt will retain custody.

Matt brings Luke home for Christmas (this court is open right before Christmas to hold the hearing?) where Matt, Bert, Glennie and Pam are celebrating.  Matt’s mother shows up and she reconciles with Glennie.  He decides to stay to help Glennie get the lodge open again.  The movie ends with all of them sitting down to Christmas dinner.  Let me say that I don’t really feel this is a Christmas movie.  I think it is a movie that happens around Christmas so a network grabbed it, rebranded it and now it is shown at Christmas.  The characters are not bad despite some implausibility regarding the court system and law enforcement (as if a baby being kidnapped would not be a huge story ANYWHERE as opposed to being treated as a back-page story, posted adjacent that evening’s TV listings).  Turner and Ames were fine as the romantic leads, especially within what they were given to work with, and Fletcher gave Glennie a believable feel as the gruff but caring grandmother.  It’s a shame that Pam didn’t have a bigger role in the film since Ames was a bright spot in the film despite her limited time.  Unfortunately, because of all the “What?  Are you f’in kidding me?” moments I had to deal with during the film I only give it a 2.5 out of 5.

Baxter (David Blue) is a photographer struggling to both keep his car running and earn a living.  While at the mall with his brother he enters a contest and wins a new Corvette.  Not wanting to give up his unreliable car due to sentimental reasons (it was given to him by his father) he decides to take cash value instead of the new Vette.  His fiancé, Audrey (Melanie Recker), is ecstatic as they can now afford a nice honeymoon and better wedding.  They go out to dinner to celebrate.  While at dinner Audrey discusses expanding the wedding with the extra money until the waitress accidentally spills steak sauce on her new dress.  Audrey is furious and the evening ends.   Before leaving Baxter finds the waitress crying and in an act of kindness leaves her a large tip.

The next day at the Mall he overhears a grandmother bemoaning the fact that she can’t afford to pay for her grandchildren’s toys and the store won’t allow partial payments (I’m not sure I even understand what a partial payment is and how it differs from layaway.).  Feeling generous Baxter decides to pay off the remaining amount on not just her but all the toys being held by the store for people (A total of over $4,400).  When asked who they should say paid off the toys, Baxter does it under the pseudo name Lucky the Elf.  Still high on the spirit of giving he decides to take a homeless man he finds sitting outside the mall to lunch.  He finds out that he is living in a storage facility and is hiding that fact from his family.  Baxter decides to buy the man a mattress and some bedding to make his life more comfortable.  Baxter’s only request is that he takes a photo of the man holding a picture of him and his late wife.  He again goes by the name Lucky the Elf.

He goes home and tells Audrey about his interaction with the homeless man and the toys.  Audrey expresses disappointment that he is spending so much money without even discussing it with her.  As she leaves to drop off gifts at her brother’s, Baxter sees a news piece on “Lucky the Elf”.  While doing a photo shoot at the ice rink for some figure skaters, Baxter spots Westin (Jax Connolly) at the rink sitting by himself and learns that he loves hockey and has asked Santa for skates and gear because his mother can’t afford to buy it herself.  That night Baxter makes a “Lucky the Elf” visit and drops off hockey gear for Westin.  Westin’s mom, Pamela (Ashley Jones) finds the gifts and they open them in the living room with Baxter taking pictures from his car (Yeah, it does sound a bit creepy but let’s ignore that).  Suddenly, Baxter realizes his car won’t start (It’s 14 years old, it costs more to fix than a new car would cost . . . there is a fine line before sentimentality becomes stubborn idiocy and I think he’s already crossed it.) and has to be picked up by his brother (again).

The next day Baxter arranges for a tow truck to pick up his car when he notices Westin wearing his new hockey gear walking out of the house.  Baxter follows the boy and takes pictures of him on a nearby lake (Again, sounds creepier than it is) when Westin falls, hits his head and loses consciousness.  As Baxter attends to the boy and calls 911 the ice begins to crack so he pulls him to the shore.  Later Pamela arrives and thanks Baxter for saving Westin.  Baxter feels guilty that his gift led to the incident.  Later that night Pamela tucks in Westin, who has been released from the hospital and is fine, when she learns that Westin had previously seen Baxter at the skating rink (Wes calls him the 'camera guy').  While you might think she would start to put together the connection between the rink, the gifts, Baxtor just happening to be around . . . nope, instead she only wants to reach out to Baxter to thank him for saving Westin.

While at the mall with his brother (yet again), Baxter receives a call from Pamela asking him to come to dinner to thank him for saving Westin.  Baxter agrees.  Later the homeless man accuses a guy who is pretending to be Lucky the Elf as being a fake.   That night Audrey gives him a gift which turns out to be a camera lens that Baxter has been wanting.  She then comments that everyone needs a hobby (kind of an interesting comment since photography is his primary and ONLY job).  Baxter then gives her his gift which is a replacement dress for the one she had ruined at their recent dinner.  He also gives her a photo of a bird that is just like the one they saw on their walk before he proposed to her.  He is disappointed that she doesn’t remember the bird, even though it seems like an incidental note to the more important event of that walk (Remember that walk when we saw that bird?  I think it might have been the one I proposed on, I'm not really sure.  But the Bird!!!).  Audrey seems saddened that there is nothing else for her but Baxter reminds her they decided not to exchange gifts this year.  He seems to conveniently ignore the fact that the decision was made because they were cash strapped before their wedding and it was prior to his prize winnings.  Not to mention that he’s constantly telling her about all the thousands of dollars he is dropping on complete strangers and then gets her a new, clean version of a dress she already owned and a photo that only has sentimental value to him (Plus, you are a photographer for cripes sake!!!  It’s like a pastry chef giving a pie to his wife for her birthday.).

Baxter goes to Pamela’s for dinner with her and Westin.  They talk about Westin’s love of hockey and Pamela’s jewelry making hobby.  Baxter takes some photos of Westin wearing his hockey gear.  This ends up leading Westin to discover the other photos on his camera that show Baxter is Lucky the Elf.  Westin then blackmails Baxter to teach him how to skate and play hockey or he will expose his secret (I guess it proves that you can do morally and ethically questionable things as long as you are young and cute).  After practicing with Westin the next day, he again blackmails Baxter to take him to the mall and see Santa (but he’s sooooooo cute!!!).  His trip to see Santa is to change his Christmas wish from hockey gear (which he already has) to craft materials Pamela can use to make her jewelry.  Also to let Santa know where to leave their gifts since they won’t have a tree.

When Baxter drops off Westin be brings a new Christmas tree and stays to help decorate it.  He and Westin bond over making decorations while Pam makes cookies.  When tucking in Westin, Baxter gets a hug and promises to help Westin find a gift for one of the young figure skaters at the rink.  Then talking to Pamela, he finds out that Westin’s father died 5 years prior (Okay wait, how does your girlfriend not care that you are gone all these evenings hanging out at another woman’s house with her and her kid?).  The next day, Baxter brings Westin a gift ornament to give to Kyra, the figure skater.  Westin then tells Baxter to date his mom because he makes her happy (Awww . . . the little homewrecker is soooooo cute!) but Baxter admits he can’t because he’s already engaged.

The next day Baxter drops off a special ornament for Pamela’s tree to replace one that she found broken when they were decorating a few days ago.  While putting it up she moves in for a kiss but Baxter tells her that he’s engaged.  Pamela is embarrassed (I guess the fact Baxter kept coming around her house all the time gave her the mistaken impression that he didn’t have a girlfriend, let alone a fiance. Who would have thought it?).  At the rink Westin gives Kyra the gift and she accepts it happily.  When Baxter arrives home he finds an angry Audrey who has discovered that Baxter has spent over $22,000 on his charitable gifts (Holy, crap . . . $22K???  How many people is he giving gifts to?).  Audrey says that he cares more about giving money to other people than using it for them and their new life (and she has an excellent point, bird photo Christmas gift aside.).  She gives the engagement ring back to him and storms out.  Baxter is then at a bar with his brother where he is told that Audrey and him were never a good match and sometimes money just shows people their true nature (I ain’t saying she’s a Golddigger, but she ain’t messing with no broke . . . .).  The next day at the mall the homeless man outs Baxter as Lucky the Elf (thanks homeless Joe!).  Which exposes him to Pamela and everyone else.  The next day at the rink, Pamela dresses Baxter down for making her and her son one of his charity cases.  Baxter wants to explain over dinner but Pamela will not have it (I’m sure the whole dinner date invitation sounds shady considering the last thing he told her was that he was engaged.).  Unable to have dinner with Pamela he does the next best thing . . . . a pizza dinner with homeless Joe in his storage unit.  Homeless Joe tells Baxter he needs to fight for what he loves.

The next morning while leaving for work, Audrey stops by and says she wanted to see him and talk.  She says she was angry and upset but was thinking about all the people he had helped with those gifts and shouldn’t have reacted the way she did.  In response, Baxter says she was right and he doesn’t want to marry her anymore.  He smiles in relief and then brushes her off as he goes to work.  **Ummm . . . excuse me, writers, is Baxter supposed to be a likeable character in this movie?**  He goes to his photo shoot at the Church play where Westin is performing in.  Westin confronts him, angry that everyone knows his secret about being Lucky.  Baxter then tells Westin it wasn’t his fault and he’d like to date Pamela (Does it seem a bit inappropriate to discuss your intentions about a woman with her a 8-10 year son?  Even if he did make the original suggestion that you two date.).   Baxter sees Pamela and goes to talk to her.  She asks him what he is doing there (he told you he was shooting this show 4 days ago.  You told him you were very excited because Westin would be in it.  How is it a surprise to see him here?) and refuses to have a conversation with him.

The play begins and Westin notices that Baxter is not with his mother.  Westin decides to take things into his own hands and grabs the microphone from another girl (So this kid who was too scared to give a gift to an 8 year old figure skater now has the courage to talk in front of a crowded audience.).  This forces Baxter to address the crowd and tell everyone that he really is 'Lucky' and he didn’t mean to hurt Pamela.  He says he found happiness as Lucky in making others happy but then found happiness as Baxter with Pam and Westin.  He then hands Pam a gift of a ceramic wise man for her nativity display at home (hers was missing).  Then he tells her that he’s not engaged anymore.  Suddenly Pamela jumps up and asks, “because of me???”.  They quickly profess their love and all is well.  So, essentially, can I assume that if he had just led off with, “I broke off my engagement.” that they could have had this conversation at any time?  Even back at the skating rink?  The next scene is Westin waking up on Christmas.  Wes goes downstairs to see his mother and Baxter there with cinnamon rolls.  In the last scene of the film they are all at another gallery showing where Baxter is displaying photos of the gift recipients from 'Lucky' in his collection.  The End.

This is one of the more gritty and realistic holiday movies they make these days.  It doesn't follow the Hallmark movie formula.  The budget is lower (hell, almost every other scene was either at his house, her house, the skating rink or the mall).  David Blue does a serviceable job as Baxter but his character was written in a way to make him too unlikable.  They tried to make Audrey’s character unsympathetic, but it wasn’t enough to change the bottom line of the plot – Baxter was engaged, found someone better, built an emotional connection to another woman behind his fiancé’s back and then, after a justified overreaction on her part from his spending their savings, ditched her.   Are we supposed to believe that if Pamela hadn’t shown any romantic interest in Baxter, if it was simply platonic from her or she was already happily in another relationship, that he still would have dumped Audrey?  And this is supposed to be the film’s hero?  Ashley does was good as Pamela and Melanie Recker did a fine job playing a selfish Audrey who was still appealing enough that we could see why Baxter was attracted to her.   I feel like this film would have been so much better without all the conflicts created by the sloppy plot.  I give it a 2.5 out of 5.

Jenna, Played by Bethany Joy Lenz, is a very detailed and organized (i.e. anal retentative) writer for an online magazine in New York City.  She has recently been dumped by her ex-boyfriend, Andrew (Jefferson Brown), and is up for a lead story on Christmas in Aspen.  Kevin, played by Andrew Walker, is a fellow writer for the same magazine who is messy, unorganized and spontaneous.  Andrew seems to have issues around Christmas and is using the Aspen article, which he is also up for, as an excuse to avoid going home for the holiday.  They both arrive in a meeting with their boss who bluntly tells her staff that viewership is dropping and there will be staff reductions coming in the new year.  She then tells Jenna and Kevin that they are BOTH going to Aspen to write stories.  They are her two best writers and they both will do a story for the Christmas Edition so she can tell who is her most popular writer and who needs to be let go.

Now, I’m no expert in the publication business but if you are cutting personnel do you really want to keep your best employee and get rid of the second best?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep your best writers and get rid of the weaker ones instead?  I mean, were the other 8 writers in the meeting all making minimum wage or unpaid interns?  Well, whatever, so that’s the deal.  Deliver the best Christmas article or start putting together your resume!  Before leaving for the airport, Jenna is visited by Andrew who wants to patch things up . . . . needs his lucky tie for his company Christmas party (sweet fella).  Kevin and Jenna are seated together on the plane where their diametrically opposed personalities start to create semi-friendly banter.  Kevin admits he barely made the plane because of a cute girl he met in the gift shop who wanted his chocolate.  Jenna starts to make fun of his playboy ways only to learn the truth when an elementary school aged girl stops by and thanks him for the chocolate bar.

Jenna is utterly petrified of flying, despite her denials, and gets annoyed at the noises from Kevin’s 1970s era handheld computer game.  He later has her play to distract her (she’s also way better than him at the game it seems) and all is well until severe turbulence befalls the plane.  They find out the Aspen airport is closed due to weather and they are being redirected to Santa Claus, Indiana.  At the airport they find that all flights are cancelled and there are no available rooms in town.  That is, of course, until they run into Chris and Carol Winters who just happen to own a local Inn.  The fact that Chris has white hair and a beard and drives a red car they call 'Rudolph' makes it no shock that their Inn is decked out, top to bottom, in Christmas decorations.  I doubt it would surprise me if it later turned out that the whole place had been build out of Gingerbread by elves.

The next day at breakfast they learn that all flights to Aspen are still cancelled.  They also find that it will be the last Christmas at the Winters Inn because developers are going to shut them down and build luxury condos.  The Inn used to have the protection of being designated a historical landmark (founded by St. Nick) but that has been challenged by the developers and the original filing has been lost.  There’s no insight given into what, despite the Inn being open for hundreds of years, would cause closure now.  Is there is a revenue problem, a pending mortgage foreclosure, late payments on some note, is the town using eminent domain to obtain the property, etc?  Maybe “developers” can just use their "evil magic Wall Street powers” to attain any property in this town.

Kevin and Jenna call the magazine and explain their situation which leads to their boss telling them to find an article there in Santa Claus, Indiana.  Both complain but are essentially told to STFU and do it or get ready for the unemployment line.  This leads them to the natural next step of . . . . putting up Christmas lights and decorating the Christmas Tree (Seriously, MORE decorations?  It already looks like Santa’s village threw up in this place.)!!!  While decorating with the Winters both Kevin and Jenna rehash fond memories from their childhood Christmases.  Jenna decides that the historical landmark status is what she will do her story on and save the Inn.  Kevin finds Chris reading a bag of letters written to Santa (Well, that’s not odd is it?) in the lobby.  Later he runs into Jenna downtown while exploring.  They both stumble across an area filled with kids waiting to see Santa (and of course Chris is the town Santa and Carol is his helper).  They see a deaf child signing to his mother that he doesn’t want to go in line because he is embarrassed.  Kevin knows this because he knows how to sign.  He goes over to the boy and reassures him that it will be okay and the boy returns to the line.  That night, while researching her story online about the historic landmark status, Jenna overhears Kevin talking to his sister and misleading her that he is in Aspen and having a great time.

That night, neither Kevin nor Jenna can sleep.  Jenna even takes to watching an old video of her ex, Andrew (I know, pathetic right?).  Both end up in the kitchen where Kevin offers to make her something to eat.  They proceed to make Christmas cookies together (the staple of any late night snack – something that takes hours to prepare), having fun playing, chatting and gazing fondly at each other.  During this exchange Kevin admits that he wanted the Aspen piece to avoid Christmas.  Jenna admits that her childhood Christmas stories were fabricated fantasies because she grew up an orphan.  She then talks about her breakup with her ex and the Christmas plans they had made with his family.  They proceed to go for a walk around town only to discover they are both big fans of the other’s writing.

The next morning, Kevin asks Jenna to accompany him on a trip in Rudolph, Chris and Carol’s car.  On the way, he admits he grew up in Indiana and they are on their way to see his family.  He has been avoiding Christmas with his family for 3 years since his father’s passing.  The family is overjoyed to see Kevin and Jenna.  Together they spend the day doing Christmas activities at the house.  Everything is going well until they return to the Inn when Kevin makes it sound as if he just wants to be friends.  They argue which almost leads to a kiss that Kevin doesn’t follow through on, giving Jenna the impression that he isn’t interested in anything beyond a working friendship.

The next day, while searching for the Landmark agreement, Jenna stumbles on a photo of Chris and Carol dated in the mid 1800s.  She takes it to Kevin who doesn’t believe it and thinks Jenna is just too obsessed about Santa Clause (although it does make Chris’s earlier statement about not seeing the Landmark agreement since it was in the hands of Teddy Roosevelt a bit more understandable.).  Kevin invites her to the Christmas festival and asks that she read his article when he is finished.  Working on her story Jenna receives a call from her boss (who clearly is closer to Jenna than Kevin) and during their conversation she admits she likes Kevin.  Jenna finds Chris out in his workshop preparing his Sleigh for Christmas (Okaaayyyyyy) and shows him the picture he found.   Before Chris can answer Kevin shows up and asks about the Dance that night.  Since neither he nor Jenna have anything formal, Carol and Chris have taken the liberty of finding them more formal attire for the evening.

Kevin takes a call from his sister where he tells her he is in love with Jenna and thinks she feels the same.  He also asks her to prepare a stocking for her at their home.  At the dance he meets with Chris and Carol when Jenna walks in (cue the 15 second pause for them to gaze lovingly at each other) and they all gather together.  Chris excuses himself with Carol as he must leave his own Christmas Eve party because he has a lot of things he must get done that evening (not suspicious at all).  Jenna is depressed because she never finished her article but tries to forget by dancing with Kevin.  During the dance Kevin starts to tell Jenna something when, SUDDENLY, who shows up but Santa’s arch-enemy Krampus . . . errrrr . . . I mean Kevin’s arch-enemy Andrew!!!  Andrew arrives wanting to rekindle his relationship with Jenna and to take her home to meet his family.  Before leaving with Andrew, a confused Jenna exchanges a sad and awkward goodbye with Kevin (who she essentially tosses aside like a used trash bag).

Kevin, grieving in his room, and Jenna from her airport hotel room stare up at the sky and both see the legendary Christmas glow in the sky (though Andrew cannot see it because he does not possess the Christmas spirit . . . or is Evil . . . either one.).  Kevin finds the Historical Landmark agreement in the pocket of his borrowed jacket and sets to work revising his article.  The next day at the airport Jenna (who is wearing a high cut shirt in the middle of winter) learns that Andrew’s family has fewer Christmas Traditions than your typical rabbi.  She gets a call from the magazine where her boss congratulates her on their joint article.  Jenna reads the article and realizes that Kevin loves her and understands her which gives her the strength to dump Andrew (Wow, a real leap of faith there Jenna).  Kevin is celebrating (and grieving) Christmas with his family when Jenna shows up and tells him she loves him too.  They embrace, kiss and get down to Christmas Charades while hoping they can get snowed in together for New Years also.  Meanwhile, back at Winters Inn, Carol finally addresses Chris as “Santa” and we see the photo that Jenna found proudly displayed on the fireplace mantle.

So despite all the obvious signs that Jenna and Kevin discovered in their brief stay, no one from the town has been able to piece it together in the past couple centuries.  So when an 80 year old man tells Chris he looks the same as he did when that man was in high school . . . no one bats an eye.  When they go to renew their driver’s licenses for the 25th time . . . ehh, no big deal.  Santa Magic!!!  I’m guessing these developers are wondering who keeps putting coal in their stockings every year.

Sure, there is some suspension of belief here but it IS a Christmas story.  Andrew Walker is first rate in his role as Kevin and Bethany Joy Lenz is a delight as Jenna.  The two leads have good chemistry and their interaction and banter never seem fake.  The two of them carry this movie.  I give it a 4 out of 5 stars.

I feel like someone wrote a slapstick comedy about an inept FBI tracking a mistakenly identified criminal and through their own incompetence and sheer luck she keeps slipping through their fingers.  Unfortunately, when this movie was pitched, the studio wasn’t interested in that particular genre but they did have room for some 'Christmas Romance' movies.  Thus a quick rewrite occurred and 'Dashing Through the Snow' was born!  I don’t if you will be able to find a less Christmas themed topic than a movie about inept US law enforcement and domestic terrorism until the new ‘A Merry Organ Harvesting Christmas’ movie finally gets produced.

Meet Ashley Harrison, played by Meghan Ory, a crafts artist with horrible luck with her love life who is desperate to catch a flight home for the Holidays.  When checking in at security, she is told to wait while security makes a call.  Seeing that all the flights are either delayed or cancelled, instead of waiting she decides to rent a car for her journey instead.  Alas, the airport is completely out of rental cars save one remaining vehicle.  Before she can contract that one, the car is rented by Dash (Andrew Walker) who cuts in front of her and pays for the car first.  Since both are heading the same way, a guilty Dash offers to share the ride if Ashley pays for fuel.  Dash claims to be on his way to see his mother so Ashley asks to speak to his mom on the phone and do your standard Axe Murderer check.  Sure, I would like to think that if a serial killer hasn't been discovered by the authorities that you might still get a cautionary warning from his mother (Well he did like to torture and maim small animals as a child and he's had terrible luck with neighbors and roommates disappearing over the years.) but I think this is overly optimistic.

It is not long on their journey before Dash discovers that Ashley is a crafter who loves Christmas and proves it by decorating their rental car (and if that seems odd, remember, she knits Christmas sweaters for a living.) with said crafts.  She also likes to sing Christmas songs (even in grocery stores) and likes to talk about Christmas non stop (seems like a keeper so far!).  We also find out that she’s being tracked by the FBI since she escaped the airport (And when I say escape, I mean she walked over the to the car rental counters and left in a rental car.  She didn’t escape her prison transport bus and jump from the storm drain of a dam into a raging river hundreds of feet below in the style of ‘The Fugitive’ or anything like that,).  Fear not general public, the FBI is hot on the case!  Around this time the rental car breaks down and our fugitives try, unsuccessfully, to wave down a ride from passing traffic.  They have no cell service or luck getting a ride so they start hiking to the next town.  The movie then introduces us to a couple of teenage boys working in a coffee shop in a side story that, I can only assume, was mostly left on the editing room floor because it added absolutely nothing to the structure of the story.  Ash and Dash converse on their walk to town where, to further reiterate to viewers, Ash is the one who has true Christmas Spirit and Dash is the ‘Bah Humbug’ Christmas Grinch portion of the duo.  When they finally arrive to a garage where their car is towed, Ashley makes a suspicious call.

Outside the garage, Ash finds a box of puppies owned by your typical scary but sweet biker gang member who believes in fate and personal auras.  So now Ash, Dash and their puppy, Lil Blade, are all on their way to Seattle while being closely followed by 'Agent Useless'.   Despite all the intelligence suggesting the opposite, the FBI task force leader is convinced they are onto something huge!  Back on the road, Ashley discusses her dad, her vast knowledge of the interstate highway system and his service time in Afghanistan (which she found out by calling his mom again).  They arrive at a Christmas themed store and restaurant in Mistletoe, Oregon where Ashley helps a little girl decorate a tree.  Christmas loving Ash and distant Dash have dinner and talk about the holiday celebration in Ashley’s hometown and the hay rides that her father used to provide the townfolk before he passed.  She is determined to get home and make sure her mother isn’t alone for Christmas.  They banter about movies and Ashley grabs Dash’s phone to call his mother.  It’s at this point in the movie we discover that his “mother” is actually a female FBI agent and Dash is part of Ashley’s surveillance team.

While Ashley is walking Lil Blade, she and Dash almost have a romantic moment but it is ruined when Dash spots the FBI surveillance car he rushes them back on the road.  We now find out that their conversations inside the car are also being monitored in the FBI command center.  While they stop in their next town for the night the two pointless teen characters from earlier switch plates with them.  The FBI tail vehicle loses the couple in traffic when some kids with a Christmas tree cut in front of him.  The FBI is now forced to put out an APB on the rental vehicle because even though they are using their undercover agent's cell phone to record conversations they don’t possess the technology to track that cell phone’s location or the wherewithal to install any of the popular and public phone apps that already do that.  The couple reaches Salem, Oregon and get a hotel room (There is only one room and they have to share because IT IS a Christmas Romance movie.).  They go to dinner where Dash finds out that Ashley had her identity stolen a few years ago (I guess the FBI doesn’t even have the ability to pull a credit report).  Ash then helps out two deaf men order dinner using her sign language skills and agrees to dance with one of them (I’m not saying deaf people can’t dance but . . . why would they want to?).

Around this time Dash has become completely convinced that Ashley is caught in a case of mistaken identity (though his supervisors won’t believe him) and on their way back to the hotel they finally share a kiss.  Later in the hotel Dash admits that after Afghanistan he joined Homeland Security and was with the FBI working undercover to keep tabs on her.  Unfortunately, Ashley slept through the whole conversation so only the viewer learns this.  Dash's frustration with his superiors led him to leave his surveillance phone in the bar the night before.  Naturally, the FBI now believes he has been exposed/incapacitated or kidnapped by super terrorist Ashley Harrison.  While getting coffee for the two of them in the morning, Dash runs into an incredibly nosey and seemingly clairvoyant charity Santa who tells him that he’s in love and needs to open up to the Christmas Spirit.  I’d like to say this scene wasn’t unnerving and super creepy but if I were in Dash’s shoes . . .  I think I would have just pulled out my sidearm and put two in Santa's chest.  I’m sorry but when a grown man in a Santa suit pops out of nowhere to ask if you believe in Santa and then seems to know personal facts about you . . . I’m sorry . . . shoot first and ask questions later.

They continue on their journey.  Dash is about to repeat what he tried to tell Ashley the night before but before he can, she asks him to make a stop at a friend’s place.  By now the FBI has figured out the plate switch (after busting the teenage boys and a mom in their coffee shop) and believes it is just another evasive tactical move by criminal mastermind Ashley Harrison.  Outside the house of Ashley’s friend, Dash does some looking around only to discover that the house is surrounded and when Ashley leaves the house, they arrest her and the truth about Dash being an FBI agent is finally exposed.

Once the FBI realizes it spent thousands of dollars and hundreds man hours to bust a house full of Romanian holiday craft-people, Ashley is released and returns home.  She laments to her mother that she fell in love with Dash (Wow, she really DOES have bad luck with men) during their journey.  To further emphasize this point (or extend the movie's length) we get a quick montage with scenes of them together during their trip.  Somewhere out there, Dash must have also seen this same movie montage in his head because he decides to make one grand gesture to show Ash loves her.  The obvious move here is to show up at her hometown Christmas Festival driving an excessively decorated tractor pulling a hay wagon.  Well, you are going to be shocked but . . . it works!   All is forgiven!  Then again, this is a woman seems like she would wear a Disney backpack to her college classes, still believes in Santa Claus, dresses up for Halloween every year and fell in love with a guy who was emotionally distant and stand offish almost the entire time they spent together . . . . sooooo . . . it’s probably not much of a stretch to imagine she’s easily swayed by any small act of kindness (though that Tractor was REALLY decorated.  I mean there are probably Christmas stores with fewer decorations than this thing had.)

Let’s face it, the plot was only memorable in how ridiculous it was.  Andrew Walker is a staple of these romance movies and does them pretty well but here he was simply solid and handsome.  Meghan Ory is the one who really carried this movie.  It is worth watching just to see her character’s holiday enthusiasm and childishness.   I give it a 2.5 out of 5.

This movie stars Tia Mowry-Hardrict as Jen Taylor, a workaholic Ad Executive living in San Francisco.  Jen is desperately competing for a creative director position with another coworker.  She’s recently been avoiding calls from the attorney handling her great aunt’s estate.  She goes to meet her friend at a bar after previously rescheduling 4 times (Yeah, she sounds like a great friend right?) where we learn that she is single due to her obsession with work and obtaining a new promotion.  You might recognize Tia from the mid-90s teen comedy ‘Sister, Sister’ where she starred with her real life twin sister, Tamara.  I know what you are thinking, most child stars never continue their success as they get older because when they lose their 'cuteness' it turns out they can’t act well enough to purse the career as adults.  And while there are some exceptions to this rule who turn out to be truly gifted at acting, based on this movie, Tia isn’t one of them.

Jen finds out that she has inherited her Great Aunt’s Inn in Chestnut Hill, Alaska.  At the airport she meets attorney Brian Anderson, played by Rob Mayes, who looks like a younger version of Jerry O’Connell.  Brian is rude and condescending to Jen the entire drive from the airport (So I guess they based his character’s personality on real life Jerry O’Connell!) because she might sell the Inn which is an important piece of the town or maybe it's because she never returned his calls . . . who really cares.  The point is that Brian is pretty much a dick.  He’s also a part time attorney and part time sleigh builder (Hey, you gotta diversify these days.  The economy in Alaska is NOT what it used to be.).

After dropping Jen off at the Inn, Brian goes to his mom’s nearby Café where they get a call that the Inn is on fire (Because for goodness sake, whenever there is an fire emergency make sure you call the local restaurant so they will know to make more coffee.).  Brian rushes back to the Inn where he finds out that Jen had tried to use the fireplace without opening the chimney flume causing smoke to fill the building.   While Brian is again being a dick towards Jen because she didn’t know how to use the fireplace properly, she accuses him of being at fault for not warning her the place had been winterized.  To be honest, she kind of has a point.  I’m not sure why Brian wouldn’t pass along this information other than to be a jerk (Classic Brian!!!).  He tells her to go to the local Café to warm up while he takes care of the place.  Come to think of it . . . there never were any fire trucks that arrived . . . . so apparently, when there IS a fire in town they don’t actually call emergency services, they just call the Café and order take out (Smores anyone?).  Either that or the Fire Department only operates in the summer.  Or maybe they are waiting on Brian to deliver some of his hand carved sleighs as transportation and the shipment has been delayed because of all these damned estate issues.

Jen goes to the Cafe and unwittingly complains about Brian to Brian's mother, Molly (Erin Gray).  Since he never mentions that his family actually owns the Café (Again, classic Brian) it's not something she can be blamed for.  Later, back at the Inn, Jen finds some old photos of great aunt Helen and finds her journal.  The next day at Molly’s Café, Jen gets volunteered to participate in the Chestnut Hill Annual Christmas Festival (All small towns have these, it’s Christmas Law!!!).  Jen admits she doesn’t celebrate Christmas nor know how to decorate (What?  How hard is it to hang a wreath or some lights?) and is assigned to run the Gingerbread booth (no decorating required I hope).  She then goes to Brian’s Law Office and Sleigh Emporium where Brian admits there isn’t much money in the sleigh construction business (no kidding).  The paperwork is completed and the Inn is officially signed over to Jen.  She gets a call from her friend who suggests that decorating the Inn might help it sell faster (Sure, if you are trying to sell it to Santa Clause) and Jen agrees.

The next morning some guests show up at her door to stay at the Inn, not realizing that Helen has passed.  Jerry O’Connell Jr shows up, throws some of his usual insults at Jen so she decides to let the couple stay.  Then Jen goes to the Christmas festival where we discover pastry decorating is included in her overall lack of decorating skills (yet she is a sketch artist and Ad executive . . . hmmm).  I can’t recall all the specific details but now Jen and Brian start admiring one another (because of course, since he’s a complete and total A-hole and she looks like she’s 8 months pregnant . . .  why wouldn’t romance ultimately bloom?).  I’ll be honest, at this point in the movie I became so bored that I found myself playing a game on a tablet.  I can unequivocally state that this is not a good sign. 

They make a bet in a local candy cane ring-tossing contest that the loser has to either help decorate the Inn or help build a sleigh respectively.  Amazingly, they tie so they both have to help each other (Even though in the truest sense, a tie would mean no winner and no loser but this method moves the plot along better.).  At this point I just gave up.  I was almost halfway through but couldn’t do it.  The acting wasn’t terrible (It wasn’t good either) but I cared so little about the leads that it didn’t matter to me what happened the rest of the way.  It’s true that this type of movie has a tried and true formula.  When executed properly it works.  When saddled with bad casting decisions and a weak plot it can fail miserably (Case in Point – My Christmas Inn).

This movie even had Erin Gray and I loved Erin Gray ever since 'Buck Rogers in the 25th Century'.  While she is fine, it’s a side role and mainly inconsequential.  This movie is just bland and uninteresting.  Anyone who is watching this movie because they are a big Tia Mowry fan needs to find something else she’s done or go back and watch some 'Sister, Sister' reruns.  Don’t waste your time.  I give it a 1 out of 5.